ABOVE THE LAW... OF THE JUNGLE!

ABC News reports that this week, a team of English scientists is to travel to China to fit an injured Panda with an artificial leg.

The panda, named Nui Nui, has been unable to feed itself since losing a leg in a fight.

So, essentially, an animal fought this panda, tore off it's leg, and then instead of killing and eating the Panda, left it to die in the jungle. Does no one else find this incredibly disturbing? What happened here? Did this Panda lose a shipment of cocaine?

"So what we're thinking of doing is maybe making some less expensive versions that she can actually start off for just basic walking, then a definitive walking and eating device be done at the end so that we know it will be safe."

I think there's something the scientists aren't telling us. The panda's got two arms and a leg left; and if Heather Mills-McCartney can find food, so can this panda. No, this leg is for revenge. I'm envisioning, much like Rocky III and IV, a training sequence with the Panda being whipped into shape by an elderly, but tough-as-nails trainer. Then, on the last day of training, the Panda gives one of those "handshake hugs" to the trainer, which turns into a real hug. Then - and only then - can the Panda head into the forest seeking retribution.

"She may well reject [the new limb] by means of trying to chew on it, eat it, whatever," [Dr. Glyn Heath from the Univerity of Salford] said.

Scientists then claimed that, regrettably, most Panda prosthetics are made from bamboo shoots.